Tuesday, October 23, 2007

For the last time, They're NOT REAL PEOPLE!

People always ask me why I hate Harry Potter, when I generally enjoy various works of fantasy, such as Lord of the Rings. Mostly its because I think Lord of the Rings is a well written series of fantasy books for adults (Ed Note: Not to be confused with "Adult Fantasy" books) where as Harry Potter is a a series of books written for children. But mostly its the rabid fan base. I have no problem with sports fans, I have no problem with console fanboys, I have no problem with most people that go to conventions for comics or science fiction stuff. Where I draw the line is when people start acting like characters in stories are real.

The throngs of people asking JK Rowling questions about the characters as if they were living people is getting ridiculous. The books are over "What are the characters doing now" is not a legitimate question. The answer is "They ceased to exist." This past week it was "revealed" that Dumbledore "was gay." I just assumed they were talking about the guy who played Dumbledore. You know because he is a real person. No instead they were talking about the character. How this is headline news is beyond me. Take the following choice interview quote on the matter:
And a spokesman for gay rights group Stonewall added: "It's great that JK has said this. It shows that there's no limit to what gay and lesbian people can do, even being a wizard headmaster."
That's literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say, ever. Excuse me? You needed a FICTIONAL character. A completely fabricated made up person to show the world how awesome gay people are? Real gay people aren't good enough? And people gasped/cheered? He's NOT REAL! Oh man, I can't wait until I break racial and ethnic barriers with my new book. It's about a guy who discovers a cure for aids, fights Bin Laden, and then rescues the President's daughter. After everyone reads it I'll "reveal" that he was really a Black Jew! Oh how tolerant and ground breaking I am! He'll also have three arms, but that's neither here nor there. It doesn't matter because its a book that I'm making up!

Freddie Mercury is so much cooler than Dumbledore anyway

I'll leave you with this wonderfully hilarious quote from The Onion (Ed Note: Thanks, David)
"Wow. I haven't heard that. I've been really busy lately not caring about the sexual preferences of fictional people."


Anonymous said...

you're really funny! I bragged to my friends about your blog and made them read this. They all thought you were funny too!

marci said...

haha this is funny mike i laughed out loud!

thanksgivings gonna rock