Beware loyal reader (Ed Note: Sadly, not a typo), but todays list of things should not be explored, Googled, or seen and are thus not linked to. This is a journey of only the strongest of stomaches and pure of hearts. And yes I'm aware that there are probably worse things, it is the Internet after all. I ask that you don't share these things in the comments; with links anyway. I suppose words wouldn't hurt.
Anyway before this introduction turns into a ramble, I present to you The Five Most Offensive/Disgusting Things on the Internet (net net net). (Ed Note: We couldn't afford Will Arnett to read that for you, but just use your imagination)
5) Lemon Party - It's old dudes. Old gay dudes. I mean its not that shocking or offensive. But its old dudes, naked and that amount of wrinklage... pretty bad.
4) Goatse - Goatse was THE disgusting image to link to but lately its been outdone. Its some dude who likes to stretch out his ass. Really, kind of tame compare to the top three.
3) Tubgirl - I didn't look at this picture long enough to figure what the fuck is going on exactly but its disgusting. According to Wikipedia, somethings coming out of her ass. Moving on.
2) Cats with dumb fucking captions - Seriously, enough is enough Internet. Finding adorable pictures of cats was ok, everyone loves cute animals. But these pictures of cats with "funny" captions is just wrong. Oh look how cute it is, the words are misspelled. Fuck you, Internet, its dumb and it makes me sick. And if I see one more caption that starts with "I'm in ur[sic]..." I'm going to find you and I'll be killing your dudes (Ed Note: And by dudes I mean testicles).
1) 2 Girls, 1 Cup - Two girls who apparently care very deeply for each other take a cup... and put stuff into the cup... then empty the cup... then put stuff in their mouth... then empty their mouth... Um, just don't ask. And for gods sake do not find the video and watch it. You can't unwatch it. You just can't. You also won't be able to eat anything for a couple of days, and you'll be lucky if you're able to get an erection for the next week.
And that my friends is a scary list indeed. Again do not attempt to seek out these things, they do not leave you and you will be scarred. (Ed Note: Especially #2.)