Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Top 5 Christmas Movies

#5 - Love, Actually
Love, Actually is the story of every British actor known to the American world partaking in various Christmas time love stories. Everyone does or does not have a happy ending. Frankly I've never seen the whole movie, nor do I know exactly what its about. Kiera Knightly is married (or is getting married?) to the bad guy from Serenity, Mr. Bean sells jewelry to Snape, and I think Tim from the UK version of The Office is a porn star. Anyway the important thing, and the reason why this makes number 5 on the list is because of Bill fucking Nighy (no not Bill Nye) and his song Christmas is all around. Enjoy:

#4 The Proposition
The Proposition is an awesome western set in Australia before it became "civilized". Guy Pearce plays the "good guy", an outlaw who has to find his evil outlaw older brother, so his good outlaw younger brother. Anyway, the whole thing reaches a boiling point when the Sheriff dude doesn't exactly hold up his end of the bargain and the outlaw brothers crash the Sheriff's Christmas dinner with his wife.

#3 Batman Returns
It's the second Tim Burton Batman movie. The Penguin and Catwoman fight Batman. They also hate Christopher Walken... who can hate Christopher Walken? Anyway, here's Batman kicking Christmas ass:

#2 Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
If you've read this blog you know how much I love Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and want to join in a threesome with Robert Downey Jr and Michelle Monaghan. While its possibly my favorite movie of all time, I don't know if I can award it best Christmas movie of all time. Regardless, here's Harmony, who can bring this Jew Christmas cheer year round if she'd like.

#1 Die Hard
This is THE action movie. Bruce Willis has a really bad day. That day happens to be a Christmas time, during an office Christmas party. I wish my office Christmas parties were this exciting. I know everyone's entitled to their opinions but if you dislike this movie, you're just wrong. Bruce Willis kills terrorists all by himself without shoes! Alright he gets a little help from Carl Winslow and Argyle. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bombard you with the best Christmas themed one liners from the movie that basically invented the one liner.

Honorable Mention:

Groundhog Day

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

New original post coming soon

I haven't written in here in a little while, but I promise something is a brewing. It's a top five list (Because everyone loves lists), but I won't tell you of what because I don't want to ruin the surprise.

In the meantime I'll just let you know that Conan is coming back without writers and he said its going to be bad. Should be great for NBC's ratings! (cough) Similarly, the writer's are going for the studio jugular by not passing waivers for the Golden Globes and Oscars. Those will suck more than normal this year.

Finally, a bit more cryptic, but if people have been asking you lately "Why so serious?" it might be because you have "a taste for the theatrical". (dot com)