Since the Writer's Strike is over, the Oscars are now free to do whatever it is they do. And as a watcher of great film, I feel it's my duty to make some Oscar picks. So without futher ado here are some picks and a brief rationale behind each one:
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Why: Because Daniel Day Lewis has a milkshake and you have a milkshake, and he has a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching?. And his straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake... He... drinks... your... milkshake! He drinks it up!
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Javier Bardem should win this award because he portrays the creepiest most convincing killer since Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs.
Performance by an actress in a leading role
Ellen Page in "Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production)
Ellen Page should win because it'd be funny. She's like 20 and she's beating people who've been in show business longer than she's been alive. Plus I have a huge crush on her. Plus Plus a vote for Ellen Page is really a vote for Michael Cera.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" (The Weinstein Company)
It's a chick playing a dude, and while I haven't seen I'm Not There (it's Netflixed, don't worry), a chick cross dressing is the quickest way to an academy award short of playing a retard (err a Mentally Challenged Person, sorry Mom)
Best animated feature film of the year
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
Never has animated film looked so tasty. And never has a cartoon "for kids" been so engrossing (besides previous Pixar installments, but they've really reached a level of polish here.
Achievement in directing
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson
A toss up really. They both do an incredible job with their respective movies. I think No Country for Old Men is overall a better movie so I'm going to have to go with that I guess. Either could win.
Achievement in film editing
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes
Roderick Jaynes should win not only because the editing in No Country for Old Men was top notch but because Roderick Jaynes doesn't actually exist.
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"Falling Slowly" from "Once" (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova
Absofuckinglutely Falling Slowly should win. Plus I can't wait to see Hank Tallinder (er Glen Hansard) perform this song on stage. On a side note, and in an unprecedented event of Oscar crossover, I want to sing this song with Ellen Page.
Best motion picture of the year
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
People complain there's no "climax" in this movie but fuck them, its one of the most exciting, well written, well acted movies I've seen in a while.
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Like I said, its awesomely well written. I call Shenanigans if There Will Be Blood wins this because it might be a "good" critically acclaimed movie but there's no fucking dialog except for the end.
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
Ignoring shit like "Honest to Blog" I thought this script was original and fresh and whatever other adjectives critics always use to describe an Indy hit. But seriously, I enjoyed it and it was definitely quotable if a bit over the top sometimes.
So there you go, I skipped the dumb shit like Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Foreign Film and Documentary because I'd just be pulling stuff out of my ass, and no one wants that.