Black People and Little Kids are Funny!

On going Writer's Strike update! With more Youtube videos I find hysterical AND informational.

Here's a bunch of people from the show Everybody Hates Chris. Listen to what they have to say.


And here's the most educational video of them all. A small 5 year old explains exactly why the writer's strike is happening.



I think they Tyrannosaurus Rex is a metaphor for Big Industry.

Studios don't seem to get it.

Continuing coverage of the writer's strike continues here. And yes we're a big bunch of hypocrites (Ed Note: Writing in the plural first person is a form of a delusion of grandeur) for writing blogs after saying we're not writing as long as the writers are on strike, but what the hell. Speaking of hypocrites, look what the Studios have said about the magical world of the Internet! This of course coming from the same people who insisted the there's no way to know how the Internet will work out and therefore residuals on Internet based media shouldn't be discussed.



Now I'm confused. Is the Internet making money for people or is it not? Maybe Al Gore, the inventor of the Internet has something to say about it?



Hmmm, I guess he's busy. Until next time, stay safe. And remember, the free market will take care of global warming... if it even exists!

John Mayer should stick to comedy and avoid singing

Ok, maybe he can continue singing, just sing shit like this:

Writer's Strike

In solidarity of the Writer's Guild Strike I'm going to refrain from writing anything in my blog other than this post letting you know I hate studios. For some reason studios feel that Writers, Directors, and Actors don't deserve a cut of the the money earned from online distribution (iTunes, Amazon Unboxed, etc) of their products. Apparently studios don't understand that without writers, directors and actors there wouldn't be any television or movies to sell online, or anywhere. (Ed Note: the qualifier "good" is implied here. I mean do you really want more shitty reality TV?). Here's James Gunn's blog on the matter, its pretty informative and good to read.

I wrote a letter to the AMPTP (The people hoarding all the money), and sent it in here I mean its worth a shot to have our voices heard

Dear AMPTP people (or whatever intern you have reading this),

Seriously guys, its time to end the greedy money grubbing stereotypes. I know its not true, but you really like to encourage it when you go and deny Writers (and eventually Directors and Actors) residuals for online content. I heard the writers don't even care about how you're hoarding all the DVD sales money, they just want a cut of Internet distribution sales.

Man up and prove to the world you're better than that, and give the writers what they deserve. I mean if you really think about it, without the writers we'd be back at silent movies again. But silent movies without a plot. Here's an idea for a post strike show: Two guys sitting on a couch. They don't do anything, they don't say anything, they just sit on the couch. They can't even watch TV because there's nothing on anymore.

It might be selfish on my part, but I really want to watch the second half of my favorite television shows. What am I going to do with all that free time? Read? Is that what you want? Do you really want me to start reading books again?

Sincerely,
Michael Nusinov

We have 3 more episodes of The Office before they run out of content. If the strike doesn't end by then, I will burn the studios to the ground. You have about 2 weeks.

More Television Shows

I realized in my last television blog I promised to talk about more TV so here's a couple more shows I enjoy watching:

Weeds! Oh man Weeds is a good show. Its too bad its only on Showtime so I have to result to less respectable means to watch the newer seasons that aren't out on DVD yet. For whatever reason I get this weird craving for a morally ambiguous substance after watching a bunch of episodes in a row. That may be Kevin Nealon's fault. Anyway, this show is smart, funny, and did I mention Mary-Louise Parker is a smoking MILF?

Pushing Daises is also an awesome show. It's like they took everything awesome about Tim Burton movies and turned it in to a television show. (Ed Note: No Johnny Depp, however). If any of you have watched Wonderfalls (Ed Note:All 5 of you), the main character is Jaye's Brother. And he can bring people back to life and promptly return them to death, with a touch of his finger. What's not to like? Luckily ABC ordered a full season of this show so we'll get at least 20 something episodes, instead of the 6 episodes of Wonderfalls we got. Oh yeah and the supporting cast is pretty easy on the eyes as well.

For the last time, They're NOT REAL PEOPLE!

People always ask me why I hate Harry Potter, when I generally enjoy various works of fantasy, such as Lord of the Rings. Mostly its because I think Lord of the Rings is a well written series of fantasy books for adults (Ed Note: Not to be confused with "Adult Fantasy" books) where as Harry Potter is a a series of books written for children. But mostly its the rabid fan base. I have no problem with sports fans, I have no problem with console fanboys, I have no problem with most people that go to conventions for comics or science fiction stuff. Where I draw the line is when people start acting like characters in stories are real.

The throngs of people asking JK Rowling questions about the characters as if they were living people is getting ridiculous. The books are over "What are the characters doing now" is not a legitimate question. The answer is "They ceased to exist." This past week it was "revealed" that Dumbledore "was gay." I just assumed they were talking about the guy who played Dumbledore. You know because he is a real person. No instead they were talking about the character. How this is headline news is beyond me. Take the following choice interview quote on the matter:

And a spokesman for gay rights group Stonewall added: "It's great that JK has said this. It shows that there's no limit to what gay and lesbian people can do, even being a wizard headmaster."

That's literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say, ever. Excuse me? You needed a FICTIONAL character. A completely fabricated made up person to show the world how awesome gay people are? Real gay people aren't good enough? And people gasped/cheered? He's NOT REAL! Oh man, I can't wait until I break racial and ethnic barriers with my new book. It's about a guy who discovers a cure for aids, fights Bin Laden, and then rescues the President's daughter. After everyone reads it I'll "reveal" that he was really a Black Jew! Oh how tolerant and ground breaking I am! He'll also have three arms, but that's neither here nor there. It doesn't matter because its a book that I'm making up!

Freddie Mercury is so much cooler than Dumbledore anyway

I'll leave you with this wonderfully hilarious quote from The Onion (Ed Note: Thanks, David)

"Wow. I haven't heard that. I've been really busy lately not caring about the sexual preferences of fictional people."

The 5 most offensive/disgusting things on the Internet

Beware loyal reader (Ed Note: Sadly, not a typo), but todays list of things should not be explored, Googled, or seen and are thus not linked to. This is a journey of only the strongest of stomaches and pure of hearts. And yes I'm aware that there are probably worse things, it is the Internet after all. I ask that you don't share these things in the comments; with links anyway. I suppose words wouldn't hurt.

Anyway before this introduction turns into a ramble, I present to you The Five Most Offensive/Disgusting Things on the Internet (net net net). (Ed Note: We couldn't afford Will Arnett to read that for you, but just use your imagination)

5) Lemon Party - It's old dudes. Old gay dudes. I mean its not that shocking or offensive. But its old dudes, naked and that amount of wrinklage... pretty bad.

4) Goatse - Goatse was THE disgusting image to link to but lately its been outdone. Its some dude who likes to stretch out his ass. Really, kind of tame compare to the top three.

3) Tubgirl - I didn't look at this picture long enough to figure what the fuck is going on exactly but its disgusting. According to Wikipedia, somethings coming out of her ass. Moving on.

2) Cats with dumb fucking captions - Seriously, enough is enough Internet. Finding adorable pictures of cats was ok, everyone loves cute animals. But these pictures of cats with "funny" captions is just wrong. Oh look how cute it is, the words are misspelled. Fuck you, Internet, its dumb and it makes me sick. And if I see one more caption that starts with "I'm in ur[sic]..." I'm going to find you and I'll be killing your dudes (Ed Note: And by dudes I mean testicles).

1) 2 Girls, 1 Cup - Two girls who apparently care very deeply for each other take a cup... and put stuff into the cup... then empty the cup... then put stuff in their mouth... then empty their mouth... Um, just don't ask. And for gods sake do not find the video and watch it. You can't unwatch it. You just can't. You also won't be able to eat anything for a couple of days, and you'll be lucky if you're able to get an erection for the next week.

And that my friends is a scary list indeed. Again do not attempt to seek out these things, they do not leave you and you will be scarred. (Ed Note: Especially #2.)