Lists of 2007 (EVERYONES DOING IT)

Since everyone from the Best Week Ever bloggers to James Fucking Gunn is making a list of their Top ____ of 2007 I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon. Here's some "awards" for 2007 and some top 5 lists (because I'm just too lazy to think of a top 10 list).

Top Five Movies of 2007 That I've Seen
1)No Country for Old Men
2)Juno
3)Hot Fuzz
4)Knocked Up
5)Superbad

No Country for Old Men is seriously the best film of 2007 and if it had a fucking ending (or even a climax to the movie), it would probably be one of the best movies of the 2000's (ALL OF THEM). Juno was fucking awesome (Repeat after me "Jason Bateman and Michael Cera") and I saw it for free TWICE (hurray for free t-shirts), Hot Fuzz is like Shaun of the Dead (Simon "MotherFucking" Pegg and Nick "FuckingAwesome" Frost) but even fucking better, and while I may be alone in thinking Knocked Up was better than Superbad, you have to keep in mind that Paul Rudd was in Knocked Up and not Superbad.

Top Five Movies of 2007 That I want to See
1) Once
2) The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford
3) Gone Baby Gone
4) 3:10 to Yuma
5) Eastern Promises

Everyone is saying Once is an awesome movie, and I saw the trailer a long while ago in front of The Waitress and thought it looked good so I need to see this. The Assassination of Jessie James by the Cowards Robert Ford, not only has the longest title I've seen for a movie lacking colons, but it has been in my "Need to watch" list since it was supposed to come out back in 2005 (what the fuck Hollywood?), I guess I'm just a sucker for Casey Affleck (the talented Affleck brother) which is why I also want to see Gone Baby Gone. 3:10 to Yuma has Christian "MotherFuckingBatman" Bale in it and therefore has to be pretty awesome. And despite Viggo's cock, I kind of want to see Eastern Promises.

And now for some random Awards:

Movie that made me the hungriest while watching

Ratatouille (Who knew CGI food could be so delicious)
Runner Up: The Waitress (Fuck that pie looked tasty)

Best Television show that had people singing in it

Flight of the Conchords
Runner Up: That episode of The Office where Andy sings Take a Chance on Me

Biggest Crime about the Writer's Strike


No more 30 Rock (No more laughs and no more Cerie!)
Runner Up: No Christmas episode of The Office

Good thing to Come out of the Writer's Strike

Conan's Beard
Runner Up: Heroes was forced to DO something

Hopefully you all had a better 2007 than me. Oh and sorry I said Fuck so much.

Top 5 Christmas Movies

#5 - Love, Actually
Love, Actually is the story of every British actor known to the American world partaking in various Christmas time love stories. Everyone does or does not have a happy ending. Frankly I've never seen the whole movie, nor do I know exactly what its about. Kiera Knightly is married (or is getting married?) to the bad guy from Serenity, Mr. Bean sells jewelry to Snape, and I think Tim from the UK version of The Office is a porn star. Anyway the important thing, and the reason why this makes number 5 on the list is because of Bill fucking Nighy (no not Bill Nye) and his song Christmas is all around. Enjoy:


#4 The Proposition
The Proposition is an awesome western set in Australia before it became "civilized". Guy Pearce plays the "good guy", an outlaw who has to find his evil outlaw older brother, so his good outlaw younger brother. Anyway, the whole thing reaches a boiling point when the Sheriff dude doesn't exactly hold up his end of the bargain and the outlaw brothers crash the Sheriff's Christmas dinner with his wife.

#3 Batman Returns
It's the second Tim Burton Batman movie. The Penguin and Catwoman fight Batman. They also hate Christopher Walken... who can hate Christopher Walken? Anyway, here's Batman kicking Christmas ass:


#2 Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
If you've read this blog you know how much I love Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and want to join in a threesome with Robert Downey Jr and Michelle Monaghan. While its possibly my favorite movie of all time, I don't know if I can award it best Christmas movie of all time. Regardless, here's Harmony, who can bring this Jew Christmas cheer year round if she'd like.


#1 Die Hard
This is THE action movie. Bruce Willis has a really bad day. That day happens to be a Christmas time, during an office Christmas party. I wish my office Christmas parties were this exciting. I know everyone's entitled to their opinions but if you dislike this movie, you're just wrong. Bruce Willis kills terrorists all by himself without shoes! Alright he gets a little help from Carl Winslow and Argyle. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bombard you with the best Christmas themed one liners from the movie that basically invented the one liner.






Honorable Mention:
Groundhog Day

New original post coming soon

I haven't written in here in a little while, but I promise something is a brewing. It's a top five list (Because everyone loves lists), but I won't tell you of what because I don't want to ruin the surprise.

In the meantime I'll just let you know that Conan is coming back without writers and he said its going to be bad. Should be great for NBC's ratings! (cough) Similarly, the writer's are going for the studio jugular by not passing waivers for the Golden Globes and Oscars. Those will suck more than normal this year.

Finally, a bit more cryptic, but if people have been asking you lately "Why so serious?" it might be because you have "a taste for the theatrical". (dot com)

Black People and Little Kids are Funny!

On going Writer's Strike update! With more Youtube videos I find hysterical AND informational.

Here's a bunch of people from the show Everybody Hates Chris. Listen to what they have to say.


And here's the most educational video of them all. A small 5 year old explains exactly why the writer's strike is happening.



I think they Tyrannosaurus Rex is a metaphor for Big Industry.

Studios don't seem to get it.

Continuing coverage of the writer's strike continues here. And yes we're a big bunch of hypocrites (Ed Note: Writing in the plural first person is a form of a delusion of grandeur) for writing blogs after saying we're not writing as long as the writers are on strike, but what the hell. Speaking of hypocrites, look what the Studios have said about the magical world of the Internet! This of course coming from the same people who insisted the there's no way to know how the Internet will work out and therefore residuals on Internet based media shouldn't be discussed.



Now I'm confused. Is the Internet making money for people or is it not? Maybe Al Gore, the inventor of the Internet has something to say about it?



Hmmm, I guess he's busy. Until next time, stay safe. And remember, the free market will take care of global warming... if it even exists!

John Mayer should stick to comedy and avoid singing

Ok, maybe he can continue singing, just sing shit like this:

Writer's Strike

In solidarity of the Writer's Guild Strike I'm going to refrain from writing anything in my blog other than this post letting you know I hate studios. For some reason studios feel that Writers, Directors, and Actors don't deserve a cut of the the money earned from online distribution (iTunes, Amazon Unboxed, etc) of their products. Apparently studios don't understand that without writers, directors and actors there wouldn't be any television or movies to sell online, or anywhere. (Ed Note: the qualifier "good" is implied here. I mean do you really want more shitty reality TV?). Here's James Gunn's blog on the matter, its pretty informative and good to read.

I wrote a letter to the AMPTP (The people hoarding all the money), and sent it in here I mean its worth a shot to have our voices heard

Dear AMPTP people (or whatever intern you have reading this),

Seriously guys, its time to end the greedy money grubbing stereotypes. I know its not true, but you really like to encourage it when you go and deny Writers (and eventually Directors and Actors) residuals for online content. I heard the writers don't even care about how you're hoarding all the DVD sales money, they just want a cut of Internet distribution sales.

Man up and prove to the world you're better than that, and give the writers what they deserve. I mean if you really think about it, without the writers we'd be back at silent movies again. But silent movies without a plot. Here's an idea for a post strike show: Two guys sitting on a couch. They don't do anything, they don't say anything, they just sit on the couch. They can't even watch TV because there's nothing on anymore.

It might be selfish on my part, but I really want to watch the second half of my favorite television shows. What am I going to do with all that free time? Read? Is that what you want? Do you really want me to start reading books again?

Sincerely,
Michael Nusinov

We have 3 more episodes of The Office before they run out of content. If the strike doesn't end by then, I will burn the studios to the ground. You have about 2 weeks.