Nussypaloozy

NIQP: Four Lions

2011-05-23T23:07:00.000-04:00

(Previously on NIQP: The Sting)

In true Nussy fashion, I've already failed at the Netflix Instant-Queue-Palooza. So if you had 3 movies in the "When will Nussy fail" pool, you won! (Editors Note: The following movie was actually watched the day after The Sting, however its taken me a week to write the review so I am not counting it towards successful movies)

Even though I have failed, I figured I should still sporadically update this with whatever I watch on Netflix, especially when its a movie worth talking about and this is a movie worth talking about. Four Lions tells the tale of a couple of bumbling suicide bombers living in London. Now a comedy centered around sleeper cell terrorists whose ultimate goal is blow themselves up isn't exactly an easy pill to swallow and that's most likely why it didn't find success at the box offices. The movie however is excellent if you're a fan of dry British humor. It's funny, dark but most importantly heartfelt and I would like to think honest in its portrayal of these men who may be suicide bombers but are real people with real emotions as well. The ending is one of the more touching endings to a comedy I've seen, despite its seriously dark nature.

Go see this movie, you won't regret it.

NIQP: The Sting

2011-05-17T10:47:00.002-04:00

(Previously on NIQP: Mortal Kombat)

Do you like con movies? Do you like Paul Newman? Well there isn't much else to say about The Sting. It's a story about a grifter named Johnny Hooker, played by Robert Redford, who seeks out Henry Gondorff, Newman, to help him do a long con against an evil banker who killed his friend. It's a little predictable, but only because it's one of the earlier con movies and all future con movies reused this shit over and over again. Watch it!

Next Up: Four Lions

NIQP: Mortal Kombat

2011-05-15T23:41:00.003-04:00

(Previously on NIQP: Beer Wars)

Cheesy one liners and crappy special effects are a staple of any good 90s action movie, and Mortal Kombat is no exception. Surprisingly faithful to the plot of the video game from which it's based, Mortal Kombat tells the story of 3 chosen humans who have to defend the "earth realm" from Shao Kahn and Shang Tsung in a martial arts tournament.

Most of the flaws with this movie stem from the poor writing. Why is Johnny Cage wandering in the forest? Why does Shang Tsung really want Liu Kang, Sonya and Johnny Cage at the tournament? Who's this token black dude that they all care so much about? Why is Sonya suddenly a damsel in distress? Would Johnny Cage and Sonya just kiss and get it over with? Is it possible for Christopher Lambert to overract anymore? These are just a few of the questions raised by the script. Most of this can be hand waved away with "Who cares it's all just an excuse to have these people fight." but then why do the main characters so rarely use the special moves they're known for? Also what is the point of the shitty cgi Reptile? Who came up with that?

Despite all of this I still enjoyed the movie since it is essentially just an excuse to watch characters from a video game fight each other, especially enjoyable since Mortal Kombat is experiencing a bit of a rennessance after the newest game came out last month. Really I would just be happy if it were an hour and a half of this with people randomly fighting.

Oh and remember, "Those were five hundred dollar sunglasses asshole".

Next Up: The Sting

NIQP: Beer Wars

2011-05-14T20:18:00.005-04:00

If you know me, you know how much I despise major American beer commercials and the piss water they are made to sell. The documentary Beer Wars was made for people who share this belief. It shows how much of a stranglehold Anheiser Busch has on the beer industry and gives a closer look at a couple of companies trying to gain a portion of the marketshare, such as Dogfish Head and a very small company that makes Moonshot, a caffeinated beer.

The first part of this documentary is a little all over the place as it introduces us to the major three beer manufacturers, A-B, Coors and Miller, and how much they spend on advertising. It really settles down in the second act where it tells the story of smaller more independent breweries. The film jumps back and forth between painting AB as this mega evil corporation and the struggles of the smaller companies. These parts of the movie, where they talk about the various microbreweries, I found to be the strongest and most interesting.

Overall I'd have to recommend this documentary to anyone with an interest in beer and who it comes from, especially anyone who's tried brewing their own beer.

Next up: Mortal Kombat

Netflix-Instant-Queue-Palooza

2011-05-14T18:04:00.005-04:00

My Netflix Instant Queue has grown to around 160 movies and television series and this is entirely too large. So to remedy this situation I am going to watch at least one movie a day to clean out this queue. To make it worthwhile to anyone who reads this blog, I will also write up a brief review of the movies as I watch them.

But first, some ground rules:
I will watch the movies in the order they were added to the queue. Hopefully this will not result in genre fatigue since the movies were probably added in chunks of "similar to" chains, as Netflix growing is want to do. Exceptions to this rule are that I am going to skip TV series, since those are much longer than a standard 2 hour movie. MST3K movies, while not listed as a series still fall under this exclusion.

So here's to Netflix one of the greatest inventions of our time and feel free to give your thoughts on any of the movies I review in the comments section of the posts.

First Up: Beer Wars

Norm is awesome

2009-09-01T23:23:00.002-04:00

Norm's joke here is probably better than any retelling of the Aristocrats joke.

If you click it you should be able to watch the whole episode.

Beatles Rockband

2009-06-16T01:31:00.002-04:00

Just when the whole play plastic instruments in a videogame genre began to feel stale and played out, Harmonix announced plans for a Beatles themed Rock Band. For those who haven't seen it, here's the ridiculously awesome intro cinematic: Clicky Clicky

Anyway I won't go into how awesome the plastic instruments look (SPOILER: They look awesome!) or the fact that you can sing harmonies with multiple people, or the already announced 10 songs or already announced DLC (Some might even be in my list, it's like a game for the reader!), but I will do what probably every other blog has done, and that's list my top 10 songs that I NEED to have in the game either straight away or as downloadable content. (Watch, they will all conveniently appear only as downloadable content just to make me pay more).

In no particular order:

Helter Skelter
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Oh, Darlin'!
I'm So Tired
She Came In Through the Bathroom Window
Glass Onion
Help
Come Together
Good Morning, Good Morning

I probably forgot about 15 other songs I would be angry at missing, but such is the Beatles.

What songs do YOU want in this game? Leave a list in the comments.

Burning the candle at both ends

2009-04-19T23:00:00.003-04:00

Disclaimer: OK maybe I'm not burning it at both ends, but I'm certainly burning it at one end pretty quickly while entirely neglecting the other end.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the realization that I'm "graduating" in May from college, but lately I seem to have been trying to do stuff. Doing stuff includes going to Buffalo every weekend to get drunk and then crashing at a friend's place (or friend's crashing at my place). Doing stuff includes driving from Buffalo to Elmira to see a friend in a musical (Check it free plug!). Doing stuff apparently does not include doing thesis work.
Obviously this last part has to change. I need to finish this thing by the end of May and it's not going to write itself. It just seems that I have zero motivation when I sit down and write it. I stare at the screen for an hour and write a sentence. Then I get frustrated and surf the internet for another hour and before I know it the day is gone. Case in point: Right now I probably should be working on it, and instead I'm typing up a blog post. Lucky for me I have a negligible amount of work for my other classes, so I can afford to spend a ton of it on this.
And yet I'm not going to stop doing stuff. Next week is Beerology at the Buffalo Museum of Science. Never has science been so delicious! Let's just hope that this lack of sleep combined with a build up of work doesn't end up killing me! Hell, even if it does, it was probably worth it.

2009-04-15T16:22:00.001-04:00

I can now update this thing from my phone? Neat but I'll probably stick to Twitter

Image Detection Algorithms

2009-04-06T15:37:00.004-04:00

Recently I discovered a "Nudity Detector" () web service. Basically you give it an image and it gives you a Nudity score. Most likely this is used to censor images on websites that don't allow nudity. However I've decided to use it in conjunction with the Facebook API to rank pictures so one could more easily find the "more interesting" pictures on Facebook. My protoype seems to be working, however I lack the webspace to host it currently, but when I do I shall share it with all of you.

As most image processing algorithms nothing is perfect so you'll get some false positives and false negatives. However the following image scored by far the highest score of any image I've seen so far at a whopping 99.9. This means that it's nearly certain that nudity exists in this image if I understand this algorithm correctly. Without further ado, below is that image: (Click for full size)

What I want more than anything in the world

2009-02-24T01:25:00.003-05:00

At this moment, right now at 1:27 AM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009, more than anything in the world I want to look like Paul Rudd in this picture.

(Click image for a larger one)
You could offer me sex with a supermodel or a cure for Crohns and right now I would choose to look like Paul Rudd in that picture.

Tumbling through the blogosphere

2008-07-01T13:07:00.001-04:00

So there's this thing called tumblr that's like some sort of Micro-blogging site. Since Nussypaloozy has gotten a little stagnant I figured I'd spice things up. Now Nussypaloozy.blogspot.com has a sister site located at nussypaloozy.tumblr.com. It's like this sites kid brother or something. Anyway, I don't think anyone reads this site so I doubt anyone will read that one either.

Summer Movie Spectacular

2008-05-06T22:59:00.002-04:00

Iron Man came out last weekend and that means the Summer Blockbuster season has started. In honor of this event I'm going to run down some of the more awesome movies coming out this summer.

First off we have Iron Man of course. This is the movie based off of the Marvel comic book of the same name. Basically super rich engineer Tony Stark makes a robotic suit to fight crime/protect humanity. It's really fucking cool, and doubly so because he engineered the whole thing.

Why you should watch it: It's another superhero movie which means its a great popcorn action flick, but more importantly it stars Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark. He's very convincing as Stark and he's just so damn charming. Furthermore this movie makes engineering look cool without being too hokey (I'm looking at your Michael Bay and the "science" in your Tranformers movie). I can see this movie getting more kids into engineering. If they release a Iron Man branded erector set or robotics kit it'd probably sell really well! It's also the best superhero movie since Batman Begins!

Second up is the archaeologist/adventurer himself, Indiana Jones and the Mother Fucking Crystal Skull. This movie brings back old Indy in all of his glory. He's pretty old now, but judging from the trailers he still knows how to kick some ass.

Why you should watch it: If you enjoyed any of the Indiana Jones movies you're already obligated to come see this one (and really who didn't enjoy any of the Indiana Jones movies?). Also don't forget The Motherfucking Labeouf is in this. Furthermore, it seems Stephen Spielberg and Harrison Ford are keeping George Lucas in check as far as dumb "Star Wars Prequel style" cheese is concerned.

Next is another comic book movie, The Dark Knight. This is the follow up to one of my favorite superhero movies Batman Begins. Christian Bale is back as Baman and this time he's gotta fight the Joker (played by the late Heath Ledger).

Why you should watch it: Christopher Nolan is back at the helm as director and between him and Christian Bale I have yet to be disappointed in their respective work (and collaborative work). Furthermore, initial reports are saying this is some of Heath Ledgers best work to date. Finally, you've got monster actors like Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine reprising their roles from the previous film and newcomer Aaron Eckhart, who was great in Thank You for Smoking, rounding out the cast. This movie might just be better than Iron Man!

Finally, rounding out our list of must see movies this summer is Wall•E. The computer generated tale from Pixar about a small little robot who's left on Earth to clean it up.

Why you should watch it: I don't even quite understand what this is about other than a little robot, and I don't know if I want to find out until I go and watch it. It's Pixar so its gonna be pretty decent and really can you say no to these eyes?

P.S. While not coming out this summer I have to point out that when the Arrested Development movie does come out I expect everyone reading to buy at least 1 ticket... per showing.

Yes Binging

2008-03-03T01:38:00.003-05:00

I've found that my life is very very predictable recently and I want to shake it up a bit. The easiest way for me to do so is to go on what's called a Yes Binge. James Gunn (of Slither fame) went on one and wrote about it a couple months ago. He described it as such:

A Yes Binge is basically making a commitment for six months to say "YES" to anything you're on the fence about. If it's an automatic "no," say "no," but if you have to think about it, say "yes." This has been a blast for me, since I'm usually pretty stingy with my time, both socially and work-wise. Now I'm overbooked and tired as hell from going out most every night, but I'm happier than I've been in a long time too. So, if you find yourself in a rut, try out a Yes Binge.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm going to say "Yes" to things I normally wouldn't. I started this Great Experiment off by going Ice Skating (oooh big step there!) and getting my hair cut. Both of which turned out well. So, feel free to abuse me with this, and constantly remind me that I have to say "yes" to any iffy call. Obviously I won't say yes to anything since automatic no's still get a "no", but it should be fun and/or interesting!

Feel free to leave comments about yes binges you've been on! (Or on if you think my new haircut looks alright)

Oscar Picks

2008-02-20T23:42:00.006-05:00

Since the Writer's Strike is over, the Oscars are now free to do whatever it is they do. And as a watcher of great film, I feel it's my duty to make some Oscar picks. So without futher ado here are some picks and a brief rationale behind each one:

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)

Why: Because Daniel Day Lewis has a milkshake and you have a milkshake, and he has a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching?. And his straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake... He... drinks... your... milkshake! He drinks it up!

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)

Javier Bardem should win this award because he portrays the creepiest most convincing killer since Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs.

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Ellen Page in "Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production)

Ellen Page should win because it'd be funny. She's like 20 and she's beating people who've been in show business longer than she's been alive. Plus I have a huge crush on her. Plus Plus a vote for Ellen Page is really a vote for Michael Cera.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" (The Weinstein Company)

It's a chick playing a dude, and while I haven't seen I'm Not There (it's Netflixed, don't worry), a chick cross dressing is the quickest way to an academy award short of playing a retard (err a Mentally Challenged Person, sorry Mom)

Best animated feature film of the year
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Brad Bird

Never has animated film looked so tasty. And never has a cartoon "for kids" been so engrossing (besides previous Pixar installments, but they've really reached a level of polish here.

Achievement in directing
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson

A toss up really. They both do an incredible job with their respective movies. I think No Country for Old Men is overall a better movie so I'm going to have to go with that I guess. Either could win.

Achievement in film editing
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes

Roderick Jaynes should win not only because the editing in No Country for Old Men was top notch but because Roderick Jaynes doesn't actually exist.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"Falling Slowly" from "Once" (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova

Absofuckinglutely Falling Slowly should win. Plus I can't wait to see Hank Tallinder (er Glen Hansard) perform this song on stage. On a side note, and in an unprecedented event of Oscar crossover, I want to sing this song with Ellen Page.

Best motion picture of the year
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers

People complain there's no "climax" in this movie but fuck them, its one of the most exciting, well written, well acted movies I've seen in a while.

Adapted screenplay
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

Like I said, its awesomely well written. I call Shenanigans if There Will Be Blood wins this because it might be a "good" critically acclaimed movie but there's no fucking dialog except for the end.

Original screenplay
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody

Ignoring shit like "Honest to Blog" I thought this script was original and fresh and whatever other adjectives critics always use to describe an Indy hit. But seriously, I enjoyed it and it was definitely quotable if a bit over the top sometimes.

So there you go, I skipped the dumb shit like Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Foreign Film and Documentary because I'd just be pulling stuff out of my ass, and no one wants that.

Semi-Breaking News: WRITERS STRIKE OVER

2008-02-10T22:01:00.000-05:00

It's been rumored for over a week now but its finally "official". A deal has been struck. The writers are getting 2% of the distributor's gross on New Media (Internet) content! That's like 10 times as much as they get on DVDs. Showrunners come back Monday, Writers come back Wednesday. TELEVISION IS BACK!

Constantly updated coverage found here at Deadline Hollywood Daily

Excuse me while I run around my house in celebration shouting "The Writer's Strike is Over" a la "The Yankees Win the Pendent" or "May Day"

Garfield is not a funny cat and Marmaduke is an equally unfunny dog.

2008-02-10T21:49:00.001-05:00

Update! Recently it has been brought to my attention that there is a new site that has successfully made Garfield a redeemable funny comic and that is Garfield minus Garfield. Jon IS crazy! (And sometimes funny!)

Ed Note: I wrote this a while ago, but didn't finish it until recently and in the effort spacing posts out and timely posts (see Super Bowl post) I've decided to wait and post it now.

I'm a firm believer that newspaper comics forever sucked with the death of Calvin and Hobbes and the death of Charles Schultz. Garfield and Marmaduke are shining examples of this. I was under impression the comics were called the "Funnies" because they had what people like to call "Jokes" in them. There are no jokes in these comics, in fact you don't even make me smile. It makes one wonder why these comics continue to be made. Maybe they're operating on a higher level, maybe the fact that they're NOT funny IS the joke, and Brad Anderson and Jim Davis are sitting in their homes laughing at all the dumb people who continue to read their comics. Probably not the case, but anyways I digress. The point of this blog entry is to introduce you, my fair reader (pluralizing may be a stretch), to two excellent websites devoted to pointing out exactly how painfully unfunny these comics are.

As far as Garfield goes, I thought it pretty dumb until I assumed that John can't actually hear Garfield. Mentally removing Garfield's thought bubbles at least made the comics somewhat bearable as it seems John isn't just weird for the sake of funny, he's certifiably insane. Sadly, that can only last so long, and Garfield still seems to be found in the paper every day. Thankfully, some crazy internet people have decided to act out Garfield strips. Behold, LasagnaCat! (Thankfully this has nothing to do with the ever-hated LOLCats, may they burn in the fiery pits of Internet hell) The live action recreations of the strips are funny because they're so not funny,(Ed Note: He loves IRONY. See if you can find the meta-double-irony in this post) but what really pushes it over the edge is the music videos that follow each strip that could only have been conceived by someone on acid.

The following site really needs no lengthy introduction, as its just some guy who's decided to explain what each Marmaduke comic means. Two of my favorites are: Marmaduke Buries Bones and Marmaduke has a lady friend. Both quality and the comments are quality as well. I think the site reached its pinacle when the author declared:

STOP
STOP IT
JESUS CHRIST STOP IT
...
BRAD ANDERSON WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
...
JESUS FUCK STOP IT
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS
EVERYTHING YOU CREATE IS CANCER AND MADNESS
HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE

In conclusion, if there's anything I hate more than shitty, unfunny product, its shitty, unfunny product that makes someone money for an extended period of time. Goodnight.

Perfect Upset

2008-02-04T13:18:00.001-05:00

Because I've always liked to craft the perfect headline for events ("Craig takes Quantum leap in new Bond film, Solace") but never actually get to use them I thought I'd use it here. (See title of this post)

For those living in a cave the Superbowl was last night, where the undefeated New England Cocksuckers played the lowest NFC seed to ever make it to the Superbowl, the New York Underdogs. And in a show of monumental metaphorical significance NY beat NE, in an ironic David and Goliath scenario (If I have to explain how the Giants being the David in this story is ironic, I'd kindly ask you to stop reading my blog). Let it be clear that I am in no way a Giants fan, but I am an underdog fan, and I most definitely am a New England anti-fan.

Some highlights from last nights precedings include a plethora of Payton reactions every time Eli did something (anything), Belichick walking off the field before the game was actually over, and of course Tom Brady getting the shit beat out of him on nearly every play. Oh and now Tom Brady doesn't want to go to the Pro Bowl. Poor baby.

For those true Giants fans I say Congratulations your team did the near impossible through the entire post season beating 3 of the best teams in the league to win the Superbowl. To all you New England fans, I say Fuck You Douchebags! But don't worry there's always next year!

Studios respect Directors more than Writers

2008-01-27T22:11:00.001-05:00

In a move that shocked no one, the Studios have inked a new deal with directors before they had a chance to join the writer's on strike. You see the Studios actually respect directors more than writers for some reason. Probably because (in the spirit of Ben Silverman's extended metaphor), while the writers are the nerdy, ugly kids trying to cancel prom, the directors are the semi-cool, smart kids, who help you with your homework... or something. The Actors are the jocks and cheerleaders clearly, except that in this case the jocks and cheerleaders and other cool kids are helping the nerdy, ugly kids, while all the band geeks and tech groups suffer (sound, editing, camera crews) What kind of crazy zany school is this?

Anyway, with the risk of Sr Prom being canceled (The Oscars. [Ed Note:Good thing no one cares about the Winter Band Recital, The Grammys] ), the Studios have begun super-double-secret negotiations with the writers. Hopefully a deal can be struck and I can watch like 3 episodes of The Office in April, saving myself from Senior Design insanity that will sure to be present at that time. Its funny really, because only after working it out with the Directors in record time, did the Studios realize "hmm maybe those demands aren't so reasonable at all". Or maybe the Studios did hate Animation and Reality TV Writers as much as they said they did.

Oh and I'm sure these renewed negations have nothing to do with the numerous side agreements the WGA has made with smaller companies (Lionsgate, Marvel Studios, The Weinstein Company, United Artists, Spyglass Entertainment, and Worldwide Pants, to name a few).

Lists of 2007 (EVERYONES DOING IT)

2008-01-03T17:37:00.001-05:00

Since everyone from the Best Week Ever bloggers to James Fucking Gunn is making a list of their Top ____ of 2007 I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon. Here's some "awards" for 2007 and some top 5 lists (because I'm just too lazy to think of a top 10 list).

Top Five Movies of 2007 That I've Seen
1)No Country for Old Men
2)Juno
3)Hot Fuzz
4)Knocked Up
5)Superbad

No Country for Old Men is seriously the best film of 2007 and if it had a fucking ending (or even a climax to the movie), it would probably be one of the best movies of the 2000's (ALL OF THEM). Juno was fucking awesome (Repeat after me "Jason Bateman and Michael Cera") and I saw it for free TWICE (hurray for free t-shirts), Hot Fuzz is like Shaun of the Dead (Simon "MotherFucking" Pegg and Nick "FuckingAwesome" Frost) but even fucking better, and while I may be alone in thinking Knocked Up was better than Superbad, you have to keep in mind that Paul Rudd was in Knocked Up and not Superbad.

Top Five Movies of 2007 That I want to See
1) Once
2) The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford
3) Gone Baby Gone
4) 3:10 to Yuma
5) Eastern Promises

Everyone is saying Once is an awesome movie, and I saw the trailer a long while ago in front of The Waitress and thought it looked good so I need to see this. The Assassination of Jessie James by the Cowards Robert Ford, not only has the longest title I've seen for a movie lacking colons, but it has been in my "Need to watch" list since it was supposed to come out back in 2005 (what the fuck Hollywood?), I guess I'm just a sucker for Casey Affleck (the talented Affleck brother) which is why I also want to see Gone Baby Gone. 3:10 to Yuma has Christian "MotherFuckingBatman" Bale in it and therefore has to be pretty awesome. And despite Viggo's cock, I kind of want to see Eastern Promises.

And now for some random Awards:

Movie that made me the hungriest while watching

Ratatouille (Who knew CGI food could be so delicious)
Runner Up: The Waitress (Fuck that pie looked tasty)

Best Television show that had people singing in it

Flight of the Conchords
Runner Up: That episode of The Office where Andy sings Take a Chance on Me

Biggest Crime about the Writer's Strike

No more 30 Rock (No more laughs and no more Cerie!)
Runner Up: No Christmas episode of The Office

Good thing to Come out of the Writer's Strike

Conan's Beard
Runner Up: Heroes was forced to DO something

Hopefully you all had a better 2007 than me. Oh and sorry I said Fuck so much.

Top 5 Christmas Movies

2007-12-25T21:42:00.000-05:00

#5 - Love, Actually
Love, Actually is the story of every British actor known to the American world partaking in various Christmas time love stories. Everyone does or does not have a happy ending. Frankly I've never seen the whole movie, nor do I know exactly what its about. Kiera Knightly is married (or is getting married?) to the bad guy from Serenity, Mr. Bean sells jewelry to Snape, and I think Tim from the UK version of The Office is a porn star. Anyway the important thing, and the reason why this makes number 5 on the list is because of Bill fucking Nighy (no not Bill Nye) and his song Christmas is all around. Enjoy:

#4 The Proposition
The Proposition is an awesome western set in Australia before it became "civilized". Guy Pearce plays the "good guy", an outlaw who has to find his evil outlaw older brother, so his good outlaw younger brother. Anyway, the whole thing reaches a boiling point when the Sheriff dude doesn't exactly hold up his end of the bargain and the outlaw brothers crash the Sheriff's Christmas dinner with his wife.

#3 Batman Returns
It's the second Tim Burton Batman movie. The Penguin and Catwoman fight Batman. They also hate Christopher Walken... who can hate Christopher Walken? Anyway, here's Batman kicking Christmas ass:

#2 Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
If you've read this blog you know how much I love Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and want to join in a threesome with Robert Downey Jr and Michelle Monaghan. While its possibly my favorite movie of all time, I don't know if I can award it best Christmas movie of all time. Regardless, here's Harmony, who can bring this Jew Christmas cheer year round if she'd like.

#1 Die Hard
This is THE action movie. Bruce Willis has a really bad day. That day happens to be a Christmas time, during an office Christmas party. I wish my office Christmas parties were this exciting. I know everyone's entitled to their opinions but if you dislike this movie, you're just wrong. Bruce Willis kills terrorists all by himself without shoes! Alright he gets a little help from Carl Winslow and Argyle. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bombard you with the best Christmas themed one liners from the movie that basically invented the one liner.

Honorable Mention:
Groundhog Day

New original post coming soon

2007-12-18T10:29:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in here in a little while, but I promise something is a brewing. It's a top five list (Because everyone loves lists), but I won't tell you of what because I don't want to ruin the surprise.

In the meantime I'll just let you know that Conan is coming back without writers and he said its going to be bad. Should be great for NBC's ratings! (cough) Similarly, the writer's are going for the studio jugular by not passing waivers for the Golden Globes and Oscars. Those will suck more than normal this year.

Finally, a bit more cryptic, but if people have been asking you lately "Why so serious?" it might be because you have "a taste for the theatrical". (dot com)

Black People and Little Kids are Funny!

2007-11-15T11:52:00.000-05:00

On going Writer's Strike update! With more Youtube videos I find hysterical AND informational.

Here's a bunch of people from the show Everybody Hates Chris. Listen to what they have to say.

And here's the most educational video of them all. A small 5 year old explains exactly why the writer's strike is happening.

I think they Tyrannosaurus Rex is a metaphor for Big Industry.

Studios don't seem to get it.

2007-11-13T01:59:00.000-05:00

Continuing coverage of the writer's strike continues here. And yes we're a big bunch of hypocrites (Ed Note: Writing in the plural first person is a form of a delusion of grandeur) for writing blogs after saying we're not writing as long as the writers are on strike, but what the hell. Speaking of hypocrites, look what the Studios have said about the magical world of the Internet! This of course coming from the same people who insisted the there's no way to know how the Internet will work out and therefore residuals on Internet based media shouldn't be discussed.

Now I'm confused. Is the Internet making money for people or is it not? Maybe Al Gore, the inventor of the Internet has something to say about it?

Hmmm, I guess he's busy. Until next time, stay safe. And remember, the free market will take care of global warming... if it even exists!

John Mayer should stick to comedy and avoid singing

2007-11-08T20:02:00.000-05:00

Ok, maybe he can continue singing, just sing shit like this:

Writer's Strike

2007-11-05T19:21:00.001-05:00

In solidarity of the Writer's Guild Strike I'm going to refrain from writing anything in my blog other than this post letting you know I hate studios. For some reason studios feel that Writers, Directors, and Actors don't deserve a cut of the the money earned from online distribution (iTunes, Amazon Unboxed, etc) of their products. Apparently studios don't understand that without writers, directors and actors there wouldn't be any television or movies to sell online, or anywhere. (Ed Note: the qualifier "good" is implied here. I mean do you really want more shitty reality TV?). Here's James Gunn's blog on the matter, its pretty informative and good to read.

I wrote a letter to the AMPTP (The people hoarding all the money), and sent it in here I mean its worth a shot to have our voices heard

Dear AMPTP people (or whatever intern you have reading this),

Seriously guys, its time to end the greedy money grubbing stereotypes. I know its not true, but you really like to encourage it when you go and deny Writers (and eventually Directors and Actors) residuals for online content. I heard the writers don't even care about how you're hoarding all the DVD sales money, they just want a cut of Internet distribution sales.

Man up and prove to the world you're better than that, and give the writers what they deserve. I mean if you really think about it, without the writers we'd be back at silent movies again. But silent movies without a plot. Here's an idea for a post strike show: Two guys sitting on a couch. They don't do anything, they don't say anything, they just sit on the couch. They can't even watch TV because there's nothing on anymore.

It might be selfish on my part, but I really want to watch the second half of my favorite television shows. What am I going to do with all that free time? Read? Is that what you want? Do you really want me to start reading books again?

Sincerely,
Michael Nusinov

We have 3 more episodes of The Office before they run out of content. If the strike doesn't end by then, I will burn the studios to the ground. You have about 2 weeks.

More Television Shows

2007-10-30T16:54:00.000-04:00

I realized in my last television blog I promised to talk about more TV so here's a couple more shows I enjoy watching:

Weeds! Oh man Weeds is a good show. Its too bad its only on Showtime so I have to result to less respectable means to watch the newer seasons that aren't out on DVD yet. For whatever reason I get this weird craving for a morally ambiguous substance after watching a bunch of episodes in a row. That may be Kevin Nealon's fault. Anyway, this show is smart, funny, and did I mention Mary-Louise Parker is a smoking MILF?

Pushing Daises is also an awesome show. It's like they took everything awesome about Tim Burton movies and turned it in to a television show. (Ed Note: No Johnny Depp, however). If any of you have watched Wonderfalls (Ed Note:All 5 of you), the main character is Jaye's Brother. And he can bring people back to life and promptly return them to death, with a touch of his finger. What's not to like? Luckily ABC ordered a full season of this show so we'll get at least 20 something episodes, instead of the 6 episodes of Wonderfalls we got. Oh yeah and the supporting cast is pretty easy on the eyes as well.

For the last time, They're NOT REAL PEOPLE!

2007-10-23T16:34:00.001-04:00

People always ask me why I hate Harry Potter, when I generally enjoy various works of fantasy, such as Lord of the Rings. Mostly its because I think Lord of the Rings is a well written series of fantasy books for adults (Ed Note: Not to be confused with "Adult Fantasy" books) where as Harry Potter is a a series of books written for children. But mostly its the rabid fan base. I have no problem with sports fans, I have no problem with console fanboys, I have no problem with most people that go to conventions for comics or science fiction stuff. Where I draw the line is when people start acting like characters in stories are real.

The throngs of people asking JK Rowling questions about the characters as if they were living people is getting ridiculous. The books are over "What are the characters doing now" is not a legitimate question. The answer is "They ceased to exist." This past week it was "revealed" that Dumbledore "was gay." I just assumed they were talking about the guy who played Dumbledore. You know because he is a real person. No instead they were talking about the character. How this is headline news is beyond me. Take the following choice interview quote on the matter:

And a spokesman for gay rights group Stonewall added: "It's great that JK has said this. It shows that there's no limit to what gay and lesbian people can do, even being a wizard headmaster."

That's literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say, ever. Excuse me? You needed a FICTIONAL character. A completely fabricated made up person to show the world how awesome gay people are? Real gay people aren't good enough? And people gasped/cheered? He's NOT REAL! Oh man, I can't wait until I break racial and ethnic barriers with my new book. It's about a guy who discovers a cure for aids, fights Bin Laden, and then rescues the President's daughter. After everyone reads it I'll "reveal" that he was really a Black Jew! Oh how tolerant and ground breaking I am! He'll also have three arms, but that's neither here nor there. It doesn't matter because its a book that I'm making up!

Freddie Mercury is so much cooler than Dumbledore anyway

I'll leave you with this wonderfully hilarious quote from The Onion (Ed Note: Thanks, David)

"Wow. I haven't heard that. I've been really busy lately not caring about the sexual preferences of fictional people."

The 5 most offensive/disgusting things on the Internet

2007-10-18T00:08:00.001-04:00

Beware loyal reader (Ed Note: Sadly, not a typo), but todays list of things should not be explored, Googled, or seen and are thus not linked to. This is a journey of only the strongest of stomaches and pure of hearts. And yes I'm aware that there are probably worse things, it is the Internet after all. I ask that you don't share these things in the comments; with links anyway. I suppose words wouldn't hurt.

Anyway before this introduction turns into a ramble, I present to you The Five Most Offensive/Disgusting Things on the Internet (net net net). (Ed Note: We couldn't afford Will Arnett to read that for you, but just use your imagination)

5) Lemon Party - It's old dudes. Old gay dudes. I mean its not that shocking or offensive. But its old dudes, naked and that amount of wrinklage... pretty bad.

4) Goatse - Goatse was THE disgusting image to link to but lately its been outdone. Its some dude who likes to stretch out his ass. Really, kind of tame compare to the top three.

3) Tubgirl - I didn't look at this picture long enough to figure what the fuck is going on exactly but its disgusting. According to Wikipedia, somethings coming out of her ass. Moving on.

2) Cats with dumb fucking captions - Seriously, enough is enough Internet. Finding adorable pictures of cats was ok, everyone loves cute animals. But these pictures of cats with "funny" captions is just wrong. Oh look how cute it is, the words are misspelled. Fuck you, Internet, its dumb and it makes me sick. And if I see one more caption that starts with "I'm in ur[sic]..." I'm going to find you and I'll be killing your dudes (Ed Note: And by dudes I mean testicles).

1) 2 Girls, 1 Cup - Two girls who apparently care very deeply for each other take a cup... and put stuff into the cup... then empty the cup... then put stuff in their mouth... then empty their mouth... Um, just don't ask. And for gods sake do not find the video and watch it. You can't unwatch it. You just can't. You also won't be able to eat anything for a couple of days, and you'll be lucky if you're able to get an erection for the next week.

And that my friends is a scary list indeed. Again do not attempt to seek out these things, they do not leave you and you will be scarred. (Ed Note: Especially #2.)

When an internet meme folds back on itself...

2007-10-14T21:02:00.000-04:00

Alright dear readers I'm going take you on a guided internet trip to guaranteed funny (Ed Note: If you don't laugh its not our fault, its yours).

Anyway, if you're not familiar with it, start out by watching the scene from The OC where Marissa shoots Ryan's Brother (Ed Note: SPOILER ALERT Alerters can suck it, this falls under statute of limitations). And then watch the SNL spoof of it, Dear Sister. Now this is about when the internet exploded with spoofs of the spoof. You've got The Lion King, Looney Tunes, 300, Lord of the Rings, The Office, even Duck Hunt the list goes on forever. Take your pick and watch about 5 to 8 of them. I really like this Step by Step one for some reason

Now here comes the punchline, Ready? Go back and watch the original clip from the OC. It has become a parody of itself!

Oh my, Nussy loves himself self referential/meta humor.

Why oh why?

2007-10-09T00:26:00.000-04:00

I'm going to write a blog eventually about what it truly feels like to be me, and by extension a Buffalo sports fan, but I feel that's too narcissistic too soon. (Ed Note: Also I'd break down crying and I don't want to visit that place quite yet) Instead I'll leave you with some choice remarks about this evenings sporting event (Ed Note: And My remarks about the remarks):

(Screen names "modified" to protect the innocent)

monkeyshine35: i hate being a buffalo sports fan

(Ed Note: Straight and to the point)

Nu SS y1 66: ESPN just demonstrated EXACTLY how it feels to be a Buffalo fan
SOCceR145: i
SOCceR145: no words
SOCceR145: i got nothing

(Ed Note: Being speechless is a common reaction)

adp8rit: go bills

(Ed Note: His dry sarcasm hurts the most)

Nu SS y1 66: That was like watching a literal metaphor sink a giant shipping vessel
chriswro: yea i havent known how to feel for the last 30 mins

(Ed Note: And your esteemed author confuses similes and metaphors in confusing ways)

Nu SS y1 66: As your older brother I feel I should say something to you in a time like this
Nu SS y1 66: but I've got nothing
nusisloo: i'm gonna start cutting myself
nusisloo: right now

(Ed Note: Self mutilation and suicide is never the answer, even when it seems like the only one.)

PolandRules1: i just want you to know, i dont wanna talk about it

(Ed Note: Winner)

If anyone else wants to contribute, there's that "Comments" section to post in.

UPDATE: NOW WITH FACEBOOK

(Ed Note: Click for larger. Ignore the red striped one, its an outlier)

"Jim and Pam are together and 30 Rock is back. The Only Thing that can make this day better is ice cream."

2007-10-04T22:59:00.000-04:00

Alright, I promised I'd write about something. And since my life is pathetic I decided to write about television. Television, that one glimmer in an otherwise dull and lifeless world.

So first things first. Jim and Pam, together at last. Could there be anything more adorable? The way they hold hands in last place, the way they affectionately display PDA's publicly next to the vending machines? What's not to love?

MARRY ME!

Alright, before I take this blog down a path less manly, lets discuss other aspects of The Office. Like how fucking funny it is so far this season. I'm liking Dwight more and more with each episode this season, Kevin took it up a notch in the premiere and Ryan became, well, kind of a dick. Seriously, he thinks he's so special, too bad he can't get any girl.

Well damn, maybe he can get any girl.

This brings me to my next topic, 30 Rock is baaaaack. Which means more Alec Baldwin, more Tina Fey, more Will Arnett guest starring (One can only hope) and more Katrina Bowden. Oh Cerie , I forgot how fucking gorgeous you are. Like seeing some chick you had a crush on for the first time in a long while, my heart was set a flutter when she arrived on screen. And I know what you're thinking, its ridiculous that I'm focusing so much on two hot chicks instead of the ridiculously funny shows they're both on. Well guess what, YOU'RE RIDICULOUS! You big stupid jerk, with your big stupid face!

Anyway, as far as new shows go, Journeyman seems pretty interesting, and I'm always a sucker for time travel so this will get my viewing time after Heroes (Ed Note: And yes I still watch Heroes even though I find the plots stupid and predictable. And no it has nothing to do with Kristen Bell joining the cast. I just really like comic book stuff.)

Dear Kristen Bell, I'm sorry I never watched Veronica Mars I always meant to.
Will you still love me?

But what is with all the nerd shows coming out? Chuck, The IT Crowd (Ed Note: Is this even out yet?), The Big Bang Theory... all of which have some smoking hot chick that most likely eventually falls for one of the nerds because he's "so endearing". Apparently I'm not the only one noticing this trend, Ken Levine weighs in on it as well with a hilarious scenario. The whole thing pisses me off, here's an example of why:

Real Hot Chick Watching Show: Aww their so cute, I can see why she likes them. I bet they're really nice too. I'm going to go bang some hot guy now and never actually talk to anyone that looks like that, because that would just be weird.

Really, I could go on and on, but I'll let Ken do it for me. Click that link!

Tune in next time, true believers (Ed Note: Please don't sue, Stan Lee) as I regale you with tales of utterly excellent television shows that may or may not contain hot chicks (Hint: One of them contains a MILF). And possibly things other than television (Ed Note: Movies perhaps?).

I'm going to write in here more

2007-10-03T23:59:00.000-04:00

I'm going to write a blog soon, I promise. It will be about television and how awesome it is. It may also be about how pathetic my life is that I have to live vicariously through television. We'll have to see.

(Isn't the suspense killing you?)

Rock Band songs announced

2007-08-22T15:13:00.000-04:00

Rock Band is going to be ridiculous:

*OFFICIAL /ROCK BAND /SONG LIST TO DATE:*
1960s
Rolling Stones "Gimme Shelter"

1970s
The Who "Won't Get Fooled Again"
Mountain "Mississippi Queen"*
David Bowie "Suffragette City"
Black Sabbath "Paranoid"*
Blue Oyster Cult "Don't Fear the Reaper"
The Ramones "Blitzkrieg Bop"
Deep Purple "Highway Star"

1980s
Rush "Tom Sawyer"*
Bon Jovi "Wanted Dead or Alive"
The Clash "Should I Stay or Should I Go"
Faith No More "Epic"
* *
1990s
Foo Fighters "Learn to Fly"
Metallica "Enter Sandman"
Nirvana "In Bloom"
Stone Temple Pilots "Vasoline"
Weezer "Say It Ain"t So"
Smashing Pumpkins "Cherub Rock"
Radiohead "Creep"
Beastie Boys "Sabotage"

2000s
The Hives "Main Offender"
Queens of the Stone Age "Go With the Flow"
The Strokes "Reptilia"
Jet "Are You Gonna Be My Girl"
OK Go "Here It Goes Again"
Nine Inch Nails "The Hand That Feeds"
/*Indicates a cover song, all other songs are original master
recordings/

Bolded for songs that make me happy, overall an impressive set list.

Smart people don't get as much action as dumb people

2007-08-02T11:20:00.001-04:00

Well damn it.
(Link to article)

According to this study the smarter you are the less likely you are of getting any. The article states that dumb people are more likely to lose their virginity than smart people. While I don't want to expound upon the pros and cons of choosing to save sex until marriage (Ed Note: Subtle, right?) I'd wager that the majority of these "smart virgins" aren't virgins by choice. The article states:

By the age of 19, 80% of US males and 75% of women have lost their virginity, and 87% of college students have had sex. But this number appears to be much lower at elite (i.e. more intelligent) colleges. According to the article, only 56% of Princeton undergraduates have had intercourse. At Harvard 59% of the undergraduates are non-virgins, and at MIT, only a slight majority, 51%, have had intercourse. Further, only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex.

The student surveys at MIT and Wellesley also compared virginity by academic major. The chart for Wellesley displayed below shows that 0% of studio art majors were virgins, but 72% of biology majors were virgins, and 83% of biochem and math majors were virgins! Similarly, at MIT 20% of 'humanities' majors were virgins, but 73% of biology majors. (Apparently those most likely to read Darwin are also the least Darwinian!)

And because I know you all love pictures here's a graph by major!

Those Art students sure know how to get around huh?

Nussy anecdotes

2007-07-14T15:40:00.001-04:00

The time has come for Nussypaloozy to branch out from inane blogging and into something with more gravity. An attempt will be made to write a decent television pilot that will probably just be posted here. Or maybe filmed and thrown on youtube for mockery. Anyway, like most things we plan here at Nussypaloozy it won't get done. But in the off chance that it does we need ideas.

That's why I come to you, all 4 of you that read this. My memory is awful, but collectively we should be able to remember most of the good stuff. Since this will be a semiautobiographical I need anecdotes about my life. Only funny/pathetic ones. Leave them as comments or IM/email them to me. I won't get embarassed so as long as it actually happened. Anyway even if I don't use them it will be fun to get all nostalgic for days gone by where Nussy pulled a nussy.

Things to do in Canada with people from the internet

2007-06-28T12:59:00.000-04:00

Drink at 3 in the afternoon
Sing karaoke at an outdoor bar
Drink on a hotel balcony
Cheer mini golf from said balcony
Sing Oh, Canada at 3 am in a Burger King
Drink and watch more mini golf. Hole in one is a free beer!
Participate in a podcast where a chat log full of internet teen angst is read with accurate voice acting.
Drink.
Go to a club and get a temporary tattoo affixed to your side with an ice cube by two girls
Drink.

Random Thoughts about Parenting

2007-06-15T17:39:00.000-04:00

On the drive home my mind was wandering, as it often does while driving from beginning to end of Youngs Rd, and I had an interesting thought about parenting. Since Father's Day is Sunday I'll share with you this thought.

Back in the day your parents would always ask where you were going, who's house you were going to etc. Initially I thought, "damn the man, I don't want you to know where I am at all times! Where's the privacy!" And then my mind drifted to the practical reasons they want to know where you are. In the pre-cell phone era it was useful to know where your child was so you could get a hold of them if you needed to. This is a useful thing if there was an emergency, or just to let the child know if the parents were going somewhere themselves. Now that everyone and their mother (Ed Note: What a fitting turn of phrase) has a cell phone you don't need to know where someone is to get a hold of them.

Another reason parents want to know where their kids are is so they know they're not getting into trouble. Now parents, generally, aren't that naive. They know that if their kids are going to be getting into trouble they're going to be lying about where they're going anyway. Which made me wonder exactly why my parents always want to know where I'm going (I'm 21 now, but living at home for the summer) and I think I've got the real reason.

The real reason our parents always ask where we're going isn't so they know where we are all the time in a Big Brother sort of way, but because they want to live vicariously through us (Ed Note: Really it's what parents do best). They want to know what your plans are for Friday night because their plans for Friday night are probably to sit around at home and watch reruns of whatever's on television. They want to find out how many parties you're going to and what kind of drugs you're taking so they can imagine that they're your age again going to those parties and doing those drugs.

So sons and daughters reading this blog, I ask a favor of you. The next time your parents ask you what you're doing or where you're going. Tell them the truth, and be as vivid in your details as possible, because really, your parents live a boring life at home and you'd be a good child if you just gave them a little bit to be nostalgic about. (Ed Note: Nussy disappoints his father every night he doesn't hook up with a girl at a party or bring home an 'overnight guest')

May, I'm sorry

2007-06-07T14:00:00.001-04:00

It appears I missed the month of May. Here I was trying to make a post atleast once a week (or at least once every other week) and I seem to have completely missed the month of May all together. I blame exams, moving and starting my summer co-op for the reason (Ed Note: Not of course, the apparent lack of creativity and motivation to write). And now without turning this into a blog about how I don't blog enough, here's some random tidbits I find interesting.

1) The NHL seems to be recognizing the #1 reason people buy Slingboxes and is now embracing that technology. Seriously, does anyone know of a case where Hockey (or at least some Major League Sport) wasn't the main driving force behind a Slingbox purchase? Anyway, you'd think it would be a no-brainer to support such a device, since it broadens your market, and allows more viewers to tune in to your content. But for some reason the MLB has condemned Slingbox and wants it to burn in hell (Ed Note: My words, not theirs). This just seems to be one more reason why baseball sucks and hockey is better.

Source: Slingbox: A Tale of Two Leagues

P.S. Suck it Sens, the Disney team beat you for a Stanley Cup. How does it taste?

2) The Wii is outselling the PS3 5-1 now. It'd be funny if it weren't so damn embarrassing for Sony. (Ed Note: And if it weren't so damn hard to find a Wii in stores... good thing I have two now) Now Nintendo just has to release Super Mario Galaxy and Metroid Prime 3 already. Oh and Microsoft, what's wrong with you for not putting an HD DVD player in your new XXX Extreme version of the 360. Seriously, I want an excuse to own some sort of high definition DVD player without buying one of those damn 800 dollar players, and if it also plays Halo 3 thats as good an excuse as any.

Source: Wii Outsells PS3 5-1

I was going to write about a third thing but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is, so I'll just leave you with this public service announcement:

Kids, drink responsibly.

NBC Appreciation Thread: Aka I'm Lazy again

2007-04-30T23:42:00.000-04:00

I'm busy with school work so I'm too lazy to come up with a blog post, but I'll write one eventually. I promise! (Ed Note: It might even be about Dinosaurs! I have on good authority that everyone loves dinosaurs)

Anway to tide you over NBC has the entire season of 30 Rock available to watch on their website (www.nbc.com/30_Rock). It's the funniest damn show ever (yes, It's surpassed The Office). It's seriously on par to be the next Arrested Development (Ed Note: Which sadly means its going to be canceled soon (𝅘𝅥𝅮)) Go watch.. now!

On a final note, I wanted everyone to be made aware of the second funniest thing about NBC last Thursday. Behold:

Shake Shake Shake Senora

2007-04-22T00:32:00.001-04:00

Has anyone watched the end of Beetle Juice? Apparently none of us have either...

Choose your own Nussypaloozy

2007-04-17T23:38:00.000-04:00

I'm bored and uncreative. So come up with topic ideas and post them in the comments section. I'll blog about the best ones! It'll kind of be like those Choose Your Own Adventure books except nothing like them at all.

Furthermore, if you leave questions in the comments section I'll answer them! (Ed Note: If James Gunn can do it, then by god so can I)

Oh god please do it. It'll be a lot better than sitting around and waiting for another famous person I respect to die.

So it goes

2007-04-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

Kurt is up in heaven now.

(Ed Note: I think Kurt Vonnegut had a great idea here and I'm stealing it. If I ever die, I want someone to say at my funeral "Nussy is up in heaven now". It's certainly not my favorite joke, but its quite the knee slapper)

I would just like to make that known. I'm not too good with important talks or serious topics so I'm just going to handle this the way I handle most things: with quotes from other people.

In August he said:

The Army kept me on because I could type, so I was typing other people's discharges and stuff. And my feeling was, 'Please, I've done everything I was supposed to do. Can I go home now?' That's what I feel right now. I've written books. Lots of them. Please, I've done everything I'm supposed to do. Can I go home now?"

I guess you can go home now. (Ed Note: Yes I shamelessly stole this from an episode of Scrubs and no I don't care)

I didn't personally know you Mr Vonnegut, but I'm pretty sure I'll miss you.

Finally, I leave you with this tombstone inscription from one of his books:

"Everything was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt"

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. 11/11/1922 - 4/11/2007

I had a dream (last night)

2007-04-02T21:03:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd share a funny dream with all of you:
I was one of the writers on SNL, but I wasn't writing anything; I was having dinner with my parents. Then Eli Manning comes over and comments on how he thought my writing on SNL was really funny when his brother hosted. And since I happened to be wearing a Giant's Jersey (It actually looked a lot like a Ranger's Jersey but no one cared) he signed it for me. He happened to be eating dinner with Will Arnett and Amy Poehler, and I was talking to Eli about funny shows on TV and mentioned how funny GOB was on Arrested Development. Then stopped and went "THAT'S YOU!" to Will Arnett. So then I asked Will Arnett for his autograph. After saying "No, I can't. I've got to go back to my table and write something on a sheet of paper for someone" (Funny joke, right?) he signed some random card and gave it to me. I didn't realize that there was a fake name on the card until after I had left the restaurant.

I woke up unhappy this morning for three reasons:

Will Arnett didn't actually give me an autograph in my dream
I didn't actually meet Will Arnett in real life.
I'm not a New York City sports team fan, so why was I wearing a Giants/Rangers jersey

What a crazy dream, right? (Ed Note: I guess Martin Luther King wasn't so special, huh?)

Leave comments with YOUR crazy dreams!

Living Vicariously Through Movies

2007-03-26T14:41:00.000-04:00

Spring is officially here and spring is generally thought of as that time of the year where romance springs (Ed Note: Puns, HAHA). The first two syllables in this website seem to indicate a very sparse sprinkling of this theme. However, lucky for us, the entertainment industry has provided us with a multitude of romantic endeavors that we can live vicariously through. I'm going to impart with you my top five (in no particular order), and if Youtube users have already done the work for me a moving pictures visual aid for each. (Ed Note: This was actually supposed to be a Valentine's Day blog but I got lazy)

Harry's speech at the end of When Harry met Sally. This is widely considered one of the best romantic gestures in a movie but I don't care how cliched it is.

(Skip to the 3:20 mark to see what I'm specifically referring to, but the whole thing is pretty good really)

Harry telling Harmony he wants her in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. In this scene, from my favorite movie of whatever year it was made (Ed Note: It was 2005), Harmony is leaving and Harry is trying to get her to stay. The conversation goes something like this:
Harmony: Look around there's younger and there's better.
Harry:I don't want younger and better, I want you. (beat) Um, that didn't come out right.
What Harry says is so endearing and yet it's technically an insult. I guess I can really relate to Harry's inability to communicate.

(Ed Note: I got lazy with this post, and didn't bother thinking of any more. Except I liked in That Thing You Do when Tom Hanks told Guy "You know, Horace was right about you, Guy; you are the smart one. Lenny is the fool, Jimmy is the... talent, and Faye is... well, now, Faye is special, isn't she? And you are the smart one. That's what I think, anyway". )

Wine drinking in style

2007-03-26T13:52:00.001-04:00

Here is a video I may or may not have promised in my last blog. Hopefully the bottle I ordered will arrive before we leave for the cottage and you too can try drinking in style.

For reasons out of my hands I don't know if you'll be able to watch the above video. If you ask kindly I'll show it to you.

Fear and Loathing in Barcelona: A jovial journey to the heart of Spring Break

2007-03-14T21:00:00.000-04:00

This spring break the third year honors engineers at RIT were privileged enough to get a trip to Barcelona, Spain pretty much paid for. In exchange for visiting a few engineering companies, the honors program paid for our transportation, hotels and most of our food. Pretty fair trade if you ask me, and other than Delta attempting to ruin our trip from the start it was the most enjoyable experience I've had in a couple of years. (Ed Note: The Delta Delay actually allowed us to skip one of the more boring activities and paved the way for one of the more entertaining lunches) I refuse to bore you, my dear reader, with a day by day account of what went down in the fair city of Barcelona and instead I'll try and address the important themes of the trip.

Where to start? Where to start? Well ignoring sleep, I'm pretty sure I was drinking or drunk more often than I was sober. Such are the joys of having wine or sangria at every meal (minus breakfast) and going to the same bar every night. (Ed Note: God bless the Ovella Negra for putting up with us Americans). The Ovella Negra, it must be noted, is like a black hole. Despite our best efforts to go to new and different bars, we somehow found ourselves inexplicably drawn back to that establishment. Once we even made a conscious effort to leave the Black Sheep in search of somewhere new, but it was not 15 minutes later that we found ourselves somehow back in the bar.

Also, if you ever get the chance to go to a bar with a couple of professors, its a highly enlightening experience. Hey kids, it turns out professors are people too! Similarly, being in a situation where professors are trying to introduce students to random women in the bar is one of those "must do in your life time" events. (Ed Note: Sorry I disappointed you, Borkholders).

There exists a device that resembles a pitcher with a spout on one end, from which you can pour wine into your mouth from a great distance. Outside circumstances pending, I'll update this post with a video of yours truly drinking from such a device.

(Ed Note: Blogspot crashed and lost half of this blog so instead of retyping it, I'm going to jump right to the conclusion. Pretend it was the greatest 3 paragraphs you have ever read)

As I've stated above, this was possibly the greatest week I've had the pleasure of experiencing in quite a while. I don't think we could have gotten a better group of students nor could we have gotten a better selection of faculty to have accompanied us on this trip. We even got some bonus extra-collegiate co-eds to liven up the last few nights for us. To sum up in the immortal words of Dr. Alan Nye: "SWOT this!"

Television and Me

2007-02-24T17:59:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to post an update here for quite some time but never seemed to get around to it. It might have been the plethora of work that was piled on Week 10, it might have been the fact that I had nothing to write about, heck it may have been sheer laziness. (Ed Note: Most likely the third option here.)

Anyway, I think I've decided to discuss television and the state of it. Firstly, Studio 60 got bumped from its spot by some spud sucking micks. In NBC's defense Studio 60 was getting pretty lackluster ratings, therefore I'm going to blame the American people. What was wrong with you? Why didn't you watch this show? Let's see here: It was a good show. It was a funny show. It was a dramatic show. It was a smart show... (Ed Note: I think we've stumbled upon the problem).

I can't help but find it ironic that in the pilot for Studio 60 (Ed Note: Hopefully the video above works) there's a big speech delivered outlining exactly what is wrong with television today and that reason is precisely why Studio 60 never found an audience. Oh well, we still have half of a season sitting in limbo somewhere, so its entirely possible that they'll bring it back later on in the year and people will actually watch it then. Frankly I don't care if people watch it, I just want to be able to watch it again.

Secondly, speaking of shows about SNL-style shows, how fucking funny is 30 Rock? I mean seriously, there are times I'm watching where I have a very legitimate fear of suffocating from the never ending stream of laughs pouring forth from my mouth. (Ed Note: What imagery!) Alec Baldwin is always hilarious ("It's after 6 Lemon. What am I a farmer?"), Tracy Morgan is 90% funny ("TELEVISION ON! PORNOGRAPHY"), Tina Fey is consistently humorous ("Do the worm! Now say 5 reasons why I'm better than you... Yeah that's right I read the newspaper... And you do the crab. Now fight the worm!") and even the secondary characters are laugh out loud funny ("Or maybe.. I could call him as Christopher Walken"). Heck I don't think there's a not funny character on this show. (Ed. Note: This is where I'd link to a video but Youtube doesn't seem to have any good ones for 30 Rock.. and I'm lazy)

Which brings me to point number three. I have an apology to make to The Office and Scrubs. I still like watching both of you, and you're both funny (Ed. Note: The Office is a funnier than Scrubs, Sorry Scrubs) but now I think 30 Rock is the funniest Thursday night comedy. I'm really sorry and I hope we can still be friends.

There, I think that's enough pointless TV rambling. I'll leave you, dear reader, with a list of 5 Television shows I watch every week when they're on and if you watch too you will automatically be my friend (Ed Note: If you watch 3 out of the 5, you still have a pretty good shot):

30 Rock
The Office
Scrubs
Heroes
Buffalo Sabres Hockey on MSG (Ed. Note: Here I'm cheating)

Goodnight everyone. And good luck.

Nussy-Female Omnifornication Paradox

2007-02-05T12:14:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine pointed out an interesting phenomena that is frequently occurring in my life. We shall call this the "Nussy-Female Omnifornication Paradox" (Ed Note: Thank's for the name Brian!)

The insistence on all of my friends wanting me to "get with" (Ed Note: We're aiming for a PG rating here) any and all women. No matter what the scenario, if Nussy and a girl are going to be within proximity of one another Nussy should be doing this chick (Ed Note: PG-13 it is). Hell proximity isn't even an issue. As long as someone thinks of or sees a girl, on television or otherwise, it won't be long before someone demands that Nussy fucks them (Ed Note: Welcome to the R rating, folks!)

I think the worst part about this "scientific" phenomena is that, while women also share in this phenomena, they all want me to hook up with a different woman. Seriously, I'm getting no where. And I think everyone's vocal insistence isn't helping matters either. Hence the paradox. It's like the opposite of a self fulfilling prophecy. Instead of me taking steps that will inevitably lead to a fulfillment of the prophecy, the mere thought and constant mention of it drives me further and further from the ultimate goal. It's quite the quandary.

And finally, I would like to thank The Drive 100.5 for reminding me how much I can't stand Oasis. To paraphrase The Big Lebowski:

The Dude: Jesus, man, could you change the channel?
Cab Driver: Fuck you man. If you don't like my fuckin' music get your own fuckin' cab!
The Dude: I had a rough...
Cab Driver: I pull over and kick your ass out!
The Dude: Come on, man. I had a rough night and I fuckin' hate [Oasis], man!

So I leave you all with this cover of Wonderwall by Pavement, sung "out of pure enmity". Listen!

Nussy: Internet Celebrity? Director's Cut

2007-01-24T19:39:00.000-05:00

While bored one day in between classes it was discovered through magical means (Google) (Ed. Note: Hey there big brother, how's it going?) that I was now in fact a bona fide internet celebrity.

Behold the bowels of the internet: IGN! Apparently after sending in a picture of me from Halloween last year they decided to give me an award of some sort.

I halfway resemble Johnny Depp! Women, commence swooning!

Also I'm pretty sure the definition of "nussy (v)" is one of the first hits for Nussy on Google.

I'm working my way up the food chain on this here internet. Now maybe more people will read this thing.

The Triumphant Return of Nussypaloozy

2007-01-22T23:43:00.000-05:00

That's right children. Nussy's back to posting after the new year with some pearls of wisdom (Ed Note: There is probably no wisdom here.) and random thoughts to get 007 started off right (That 007 was pretty clever, right?) (Ed Note: So clever it was stolen from famous celebrities)

Firstly, while watching Studio 60 on NBC (Ed Note: Shameless plug), a thought popped into my head about the greatest reality show of all time. Remember that reality show Project Greenlight, or whatever it was called? Run by Matt Daemon and Douchebag Affleck? Well my idea is similar. Only instead of creating your own movie, it's their own reality show! So what I'm proposing, just to make sure we're all on the same page (Ed Note: Page 12), is a reality show where participants create their own reality shows. The best reality show, as chosen by a panel of judges or phone calls or some other bullshit, is then taken and turned into a real show! All the while the cameras are rolling creating MY reality show! Genius, right? It's so meta all of their heads will explode. And then no more reality shit will be made. (Ed Note: Except Beauty and the Geek. What a great self esteem booster. And it's unintentionally hilarious to boot!)

Secondly, I've been trying out some social experiments. The first was in Circuits class the other day. We arrive in the room and sitting next to me is a stack of handouts from the previous class. The previous class being Engineering Statistics, boring math crap that has nothing to do with our Circuits class. Anyway, I kept trying to give one of the sheets to my friend sitting next to me insisting that what he found on that sheet would answer any question he had. After repeated refusals, (Ed Note: Sounds a lot like someone's luck with women, ZING) I decided to take my help elsewhere. To the person sitting one row in front of me. I handed him the stack of papers. Lucky for me he took one. Even luckier for me he passed the rest of the stack on to the next row, where, you guessed it, the lemmings fell in line each taking a sheet and passing it. Never once did they bother to LOOK at the sheet and see it had nothing to do with the class we were in. If my friend and I hadn't burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter we could have seen if anyone in the class would have raised an objection to the out of place subject matter. Sadly the jig was up.

On a completely unrelated note we also decided to try our hand at creating a facebook chain message because those appear to be all the rage these days. So if it appears you need a rowdy sexing don't be alarmed or offended. Just pass on the message to all of your friends deserving of that action and hope that the ladies line up! (Ed. Note: Seriously ladies, it's a first come, first serve basis with these things)

Finally I'm conducting a poll about my hair. Should I continue with the chin hairs or ditch them? Should I keep with the #2 buzzing on the top of my head or grow it out? This is a very scientific poll so it needs a large sample space. Don't hold back! I want honest answers people. What say you? (Ed Note: For all those who have advice on hair that grows 'elsewhere', those suggestions should probably be done in a more discrete fashion.)

WII!!

2006-12-22T17:33:00.000-05:00

I'm making this blog post FROM my Wii. That is all.

Last Thursday was possibly the best Thursday I've had in a while

2006-12-16T21:23:00.000-05:00

Reasons (in no particular order) why this past Thursday was the strongest Thursday of 2006 (maybe just the last few months):

1: New TV. I bought the TV Wednesday, but Thursday was the day I took it out of the box and set it up. It is large and awesome. And no ladies, I am not compensating for something. I firmly believe that a man's TV should be directly proportional to the size of manhood. (Ed. Note: Nussy does not have a 50 inch wide screen penis... but it is in 1080p high definition)

2: I got this email:

Dear Michael,

You placed an order online with jersey express for a buffalo sabres alternate jersey size medium. I do have this jersey in stock. I can have it ready for you on Friday the 22nd.

Thanks,
Stephanie

Thank you Stephanie from Jersey's Express. In exchange for this good fortune I'm giving you free advertising to all 10 people who read this blog. Go to www.jerseyexpress.com and YOU TOO might be able to order a Buffalo Sabres jersey.

3: Breakfast sandwich consumed. I went to the SAU before classes and ate the best fucking sandwich in existence. It is by far the best meal on campus ever and is consistently tasty and delicious.

4: Jess came to visit from Buffalo. Loud, drunk, beer pong players scared her off before long however.

5: The Office was an hour long and HILARIOUS (Ed Note: Caps lock for extra hilariousness). Seriously, best episode of The Office this season and not just because Karen and Pam hanging out makes me root for Jim to get a threesome in. Also Scrubs was pretty damn funny.

Ways in which to build off of my successful Thursday and make the most out of the rest of this year.

1: Get Time Warner to give me the good HD cable box for some actual HD content on my new TV.

2: Pick up my jersey next week and then wear it whenever the Sabres play.

3: Eat more breakfast sandwiches next week at school.

4: Convince more people to visit my apartment. However I believe this will have to wait until after break, since I'm going home next weekend.

So there you have it. One last miscellaneous thing to consider:

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is a damn good movie. I watched it again last night and loved it just as much as the last 3 times I've seen it.

Scientific Poll

2006-12-11T14:22:00.000-05:00

Circuit City has the TV I have been eyeing for the cheapest price I've seen it in stores ($1849.99). Amazon has it for $1629.99. However I can pick it up in the store with Circuit City (No having to make sure I'm home for the delivery) and they offer a no interest/no finance deal for 18 months. Therefore after tax I could spread it out and have it be about 115 bucks a month. That seems like a good deal for a 50 inch widescreen 1080p HD TV (the Samsung HL-S5087W) right?

That brings me to the Scientific Poll. Tell me if you think I should buy it. I'll scientifically manipulate the data afterwards to get the result I want, but regardless I'd like your input. Click the little "Leave a comment" link or IM me.

What say you?

New and Different

2006-12-10T16:44:00.000-05:00

Well I've gotten settled in my new apartment. Its interesting living on your own. For starters I have to learn how to cook. Currently I only know how to cook bacon, eggs, and easy mac. Guess what I had to eat for the past week? (Ed. Note: Pro Tip: Don't use a tupperware container to poor hot bacon grease into. The tupperware will 'change').

I hate parking at RIT. Although I guess its not nearly as bad as UB so I should stop complaining. And to that person whose spot I "stole" Friday, I appologize; but you can't claim a spot by being far past it and expecting to back into it without any blinkers on. Also I was about to give you the spot back but you drove off in a huff so I guess its true what they say "Quitters can't be winners" (Ed. Note: Is that what they say?)

I'm also not used to this whole "class and homework" thing. What's with all the sitting around in class? And then going home and doing more work? I just don't like it, I'm sorry.

Anyway, this blog post was largely unproductive in that I don't think I've come up with any funny material in it. (Ed. Note: Boo fucking hoo)

The Times, they are a changing

2006-11-28T16:18:00.000-05:00

Well its been brought to my attention recently that I haven't posted on here in a while. Let's see... I've been busy with things, mostly the new Nintendo Wii. Man is that fun.

Also the Buffalo Sabres have been doing exceptionally well. Which has sparked my quest to obtain a jersey. Not just any jersey, mind you, but the alternate home jersey, since the new logo sucks. This quest has led me to JerseyExpress.com which 'appears' to have Sabres jerseys in stock. However after poking around their site I discovered this gem (Emphasis mine):

"Jersey Express is based in Buffalo, NY and has been serving sports fans since 1993."

Which leads me to believe that they are out of stock. However I have placed an order so we'll see how it goes.

In other news I'm going back to RIT (Ed Note: Finally) at the end of the week. Which means no more fixed income from my co-op and more homework but no class on Friday. So we've got a bit of good along with the bad. Also I'll probably miss everyone in Buffalo I've hung out with, but I'll probably see them often enough they won't even notice I've left town. Also, if they really wanted to they could visit me in my new apartment in Rochester during their long winter break of which I get a measly 2 weeks (Ed Note: Damn you quarter system).

And I'll leave you with an observation about how women are crazy. This is by no means a unique observation and I'm sure many of you will probably have already noticed this but I found it interesting none the less.

When a woman says they "just want someone who cares about them" what they really mean is they "just want the one person they care about to care about them back". (Ed Note: This observation is infallible as it is based on hard scientific research and multiple sources of information)

The following is funny but true

2006-11-01T14:53:00.002-05:00

A recent article on Slate (http://www.slate.com/id/2152487/) states that Internet Porn decreases rape! Read it, its interesting, but funny to think about. Now feel free to stir up a debate about it in the comments section. Seriously. No one leaves comments and I kind of want that to change, so comment away!

Also if no one comments, and I see that people have read this page I will assume that everyone agrees with everything I say, ever. I'm looking at you, yes you. (Ed. Note: I don't know who) I bet you don't agree with all the terribly biased things I said below in my semi-serious posts but since you didn't post a comment I'm going to assume you think I'm right!

Google Ads Redux

2006-10-31T11:55:00.000-05:00

Now Google thinks I need therapy. Is it because I'm encouraging Gay people to get married? Oh Google and your strange right wing agenda! (Ed. Note: Or maybe it's the pro-death stance on abortion!) Mysterious and crazy. Google Ads remind me of women! Ba-dump-cha.

Haha now they're advertising for adoption agencies. Oh Google Ads, always trying to better the world.

Lazy man's summary of the first two Semi-serious Posts

2006-10-27T17:02:00.000-04:00

SERIOUSLY LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Semi-serious Posts II: The Island of Lost Dreams

2006-10-27T16:48:00.000-04:00

Now for the religion-fueled politics. Guess what that means we'll be talking about? Abortion and Gay Marriage! Hurray! (Ed. Note: There go the last three readers)

Abortion (and Stem Cell research) (Ed. Note: The media now lumps them together so we can too!) are a sensitive topic. There are those that are pro-life that believe anything is living, and then there are those who believe a woman has a choice on whether to have an abortion or not. I, myself am ~~pro-death~~ pro-choice. This ties in with my Apathetic agnostic view. Seriously it's up to the woman, why should I care what she does with the genetic matter sitting inside her. A dime sized zygote is not living. Sure it has the "potential" to be a living thing, but so are sperm and eggs. You don't see anyone flipping out when it's "that time of the month" for a woman, or "that time of the day when there's nothing to do" for a man, do you? Seriously, leave them alone.

Now for something thats even more of a non-issue than abortion, (Ed. Note: Abortion is kind of an issue, but then again it's more of an issue when you're sexual active. ZING!!!), Gay Marriage. Leave them the fuck alone. If they want to marry what fucking difference does it make to you? Will you love your spouse less if Faggy McFaggerson and Fruity McGayGay promise to love each other through sickness (AIDS) and health (Before the AIDS), 'til death (From AIDS, of course) due them part? (Ed Note: Oh dear that last sentence is not going to be good for business). "Oh no! They ruined the sanctity of marriage!" you say. (Ed Note: Again, who says?) But then when I try to tell you that you're wrong, you're too busy watching "Joe Millionare" and "Who wants to marry my dad?" to listen to me. Who's ruining the sanctity of what now?

I have a theory. It involves HMO's and the IRS. I'm pretty sure they're the ones behind this anti-gay marriage movement. They don't want Faggy McFaggerson and Fruity McGayGay to file under the marriage tax bracket or be covered by their spouses health care. That's what this is about, isn't it? Money. Nelly was right all along. Now seriously, leave them alone.

Semi-serious Posts

2006-10-27T16:13:00.000-04:00

I'm going to start doing some semi-serious posts here. They're serious in the fact that they deal with real issues that aren't TV shows, they're semi because they piss me off, like semi-sweet chocolate. Seriously, be milk or dark, non of this mulatto crap (Ed. Note: Oh dear god racism).

I'm going to preface all of these discussions with a disclaimer. The things I talk about are "inspired by" events that have occurred in real life but by no means are about these events or the people that inspired them. (Ed. Note: Like most "based on a true story" movies the things mentioned here, while based on real life, aren't allowed to offend you or make you mad because they're only loosely based. Sorry.)

Let's talk a minute about everyones favorite topics Politics and Religion. I clump them together because a lot about politics that pisses me off is because of religion.

People that know me know I'm not a big fan of this God character. In high school I was a big atheist thinking anything to do with God was crazy. As I've matured I've realized that a better way to go is Agnostic. I mean while there's no proof as to say God exists, there's also no proof that says God can't exist. Furthermore after reading up on it I've found I'm pretty much an Apathetic Agnostic. I mean who really cares if God exists or not? He clearly doesn't care about any of the stuff I'm doing. I think that's one of the things that really bothered me about the whole God thing. If he is this omniscient, omnipotent character then why would he be concerned about anything thats happening here on this insignificant speck of the universe called Earth. Seriously, its ok to believe God created everything everywhere, I don't know who started it all, but seriously do you know how small you are in the grand scheme of things? If this God exists he's most definately not paying any attention to us.

Furthermore, why should we care if other people think God exists, or which god(s) exists? Is it really any of our business? If you think someone else is wrong let them go on their own merry way ignorant of the "truth". This leads into evolution, a religion all its own. Why is it that people who believe in evolution insists on it being the "proof there's no god" and why do religious people insist that evolution is stupid?

First of all, Evolution clearly exists. It's well documented, so stop trying to tell me that God created everything and it never changes. Why can't you just accept evolution and incorporate it into your belief system? Is it such a stretch that God created evolution? Is that such a terrible thing? Wouldn't that just strengthen your view of how powerful he is? Seriously what kind of being could have the foresight to incorporate a mechanism in his creations so they automatically fix themselves. I wish things I made were able to automatically correct their flaws and and adapt to their surroundings.

But oh no you say (Ed. Note: Who says?) , the bible tells us that God created the world in seven days. Keep this in mind, the bible was written by man not God. Man probably screwed up. What if what God told Mr. Bible Writer was misinterpretted. What if each "day" was actually a large number of years? Seriously he's God, 1,000 years could seem like a day to him. So stop with "The Bible tells us", it's flawed because humans wrote it and humans are flawed.

So how many people are still reading? Three? Good. (Ed. Note: That means we lost one, not too shabby)

Pretzel Day

2006-10-20T10:03:00.000-04:00

Have I ever told you that The Office is the best fucking show on television? It really is. Go watch The Initiation and tell me its not. I dare you.

If I have one point of constructive criticism its that we need more of Bizarro branch, i.e. the Stamford branch. "Love me, love me, say that you'll love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me."

Oh and Jenna Fischer is awesome! (Ed. Note: We here at Nussypaloozy in no way condone or endorse the use of myspace)

Google Ads

2006-10-19T13:12:00.000-04:00

There's a google ad on the side mostly for my own curiosity as to what it'll advertise based on my ramblings and its chosen an Oprah weight loss ad. I would just like to reassure you, my readers, that I hate Oprah and don't condone of anything Oprah based. (Ed. Note: Now the Oprah ads won't stop)

Drunk People and RIT

2006-10-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I went up to RIT to visit some friends. While there we decided to find something interesting to do. After wandering around Perkins and finding absolutely nothing we decided to go to our old stomping grounds at the dorms. There we met two women who were slightly inebriated. This allowed for quite the interesting conversations. You might stop and say, "Nussy, how do you know, without a shadow of a doubt that these women were drunk?". Aside from the obvious (they mentioned drinking several times) they told us that we were "cute". If you knew what "we" (Brian, Jim, and myself) looked like you would know that this was either a bold faced lie or the effects of alcohol impairing ones judgment (Ed. Note: Don't drink alcohol, kids). The one kept resting her head on my shoulder as well, a dead giveaway that alcohol has clouded her brain.

After chatting for about 20 minutes Brian and Jim escaped inside to "take a leak", and they never came back. So eventually after running out of things to talk about I made my escape to see what was taking them so goddamn long. Apparently they decided it was a good idea to "leave Nussy to his own devices" and they were disappointed I had left the women out there and not gone with them to where ever it is they sleep. What they forgot however was what "leaving Nussy to his own devices" really meant.

The moral of this story is, don't leave Nussy alone if you want him to do something right. You must feed him advice and constantly remind him to focus on the matter at hand.

As an aside, the next day we saw the one girl, obviously sobered up by now, enjoying a meal at the local diner. Needless to say she didn't recognize us.

Recent Events

2006-10-03T14:17:00.000-04:00

Photographic evidence of recent events in which I was party to have surfaced on the internet. Some of my actions documented in such photos aren't exactly "professional". (Ed. Note: decidedly not rated PG) The reason I mention this is if you, dear reader, see such photos I hope that you don't think less of me.

On a related note, I have new respect for the power of alcohol

Redacted

2006-09-25T23:01:00.000-04:00

I redact what I said earlier. I said The Office was the only show worth watching on Network Television earlier today. I was wrong.

Remember Sports Night? That show about an ESPN-like show where everyone talked really fast? Funny? Intelligent? Ring any bells? (Ed. Note: No? That's probably why it was cancelled after two brilliant seasons)

Well it's back, but its about a SNL clone this time. And it's called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. (Ed. Note: Hurray for alliteration) It's witty, it's smart, and if the "cold open" from it's fictitious show within a show is any indication, the fake show is a lot funnier than SNL's "real" show is.

The greatest show on Television

2006-09-25T14:59:00.000-04:00

With the absence of Arrested Development (Ed. Note: Damn you Fox!), and Scrubs on hiatus until NBC decides to let them out of their cage, there is clearly only one show worth watching on Network TV.

Here's a hint (Ed. Note: A vital clue has been given about Nussy's true identity)

Dinkin' Flicka.

Oh right...

2006-09-21T14:38:00.000-04:00

I might also occasionally talk about random nerd stuff. Google Earth, programming, video games, etc. They'll either be in the form of "Look what I figured out how to do!" (Ed. Note: Wow, everyone clap for Nussy) or "Why won't this fucking work?" (Ed. Note: Translation "Look what I can't figure out how to do and must therefore be broken"). I might even just leave a message that says "Check this shit out" when I find something awesome that I want to force everyone else to see so I can talk to them and say wasn't that awesome?

-Nussy

Welcome to this

2006-09-21T14:20:00.000-04:00

Hey. You've stumbled upon Nussypaloozy, a site to catalogue everything that is Nussy. What it is to be Nussy. The site will most likely be pretty sparse since I'm lazy, but isn't that the whole point? If this site was updated every day then I'd be betraying to you, my humble readers (Ed Note: too soon to actually make that plural), and denying your opportunity to experience everything Nussy.

Yeah I talk in the third person a lot, so sue me (Ed. Note: please don't).

What I envisioned initially for Nussypaloozy would be a site cataloguing my complete and utter failures in every aspect of life except academia. Except to do that I'd have to talk about the people involved in the failures and those people are probably the only people reading this blog. I mean I could change the names, but it'd only be a matter of time before Eric realized I was talking about him when I wrote about Merick and Bulissa can only stand up so long before Melissa says it out loud. And honestly is Steve really going to think I have another friend with the last name Delinski?'

So where does that leave us? In exactly the same place I started. If my accounts of wooing women filter across the tubes of the interweb to said attempted wooed women and thereby ruin my chances with these fair lasses (Ed. Note: Fair lasses?) isn't that just continuing the Nussy way?
(Ed Note: If the above paragraph was confusing to read, don't worry it was just as confusing to write.)

Wow this turned out to be a lot longer introduction to Nussypaloozy than I'd thought. For the lazy I'll summarize for you:
1) New blog about Nussy
2) Just started, new stuff will be added

Indubitably yours,
Nussy